i don't even know what to say.

i'm in such a pissy mood.

i fucking can't stand myself anymore.

i hate the way i look. almost all the time. it's never good enough.

i just got my hair trimmed, and it's all even now. which eliminates the illusion that my hair was long (i had long pieces in the front, from when it grew out from the short in the back, long in the front style i had in january). so i feel even uglier.

i feel like this stupid new lip ring is way too bright and gotti, and i look stupid.

i'm not hot enough.

i'm not good enough..

and yeah, this is all about my LOOKS.

i realize people have it MUCH worse, thanks....but i'm driving myself fucking nuts. i try and fix it, and i just end up back at square one. i really wouldn't be surprised in the least, if i ended up actually being "diagnosed" with a mild case of BDD.

i probably sound fucking so stupid bitching about this right now. but i'm so sad/upset/angry.

worst mood.

i just want to cry.

over something that shouldn't even be this big of a deal.

FUCK.

i'm retarded. i'm aware.

peace.

edit: oh, and i have a lot less money than i wanted to, for when i moved. go sameeya. you idiot.